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Pride and Prejudice
Mountaineers · 10th–12th
Elizabeth says she could forgive Darcy's pride if he had not hurt her own. Is that a fair reason to hold it against him, or does it show some pride in her too?
The tension Charlotte excuses Darcy, who has “family, fortune, everything in his favour”, and so, she says, a right to be proud; Elizabeth agrees, then turns the point on herself: she could forgive his pride “if he had not mortified” hers.
Several voices define and judge one man's pride, and one of them admits that her quarrel with it is personal.
The Lucases live a short walk from Longbourn. Sir William once made a modest fortune in trade at Meryton and was knighted after giving an address to the king while he was mayor. The honour went to his head a little: he gave up his business, left the market town, and moved his family to a house a mile off, now called Lucas Lodge, where he could enjoy his own importance and spend his time being civil to everyone. His rank made him courteous, not haughty. Lady Lucas is a good, not very clever woman, and their eldest daughter, Charlotte, sensible and about twenty-seven, is Elizabeth’s close friend. The morning after the assembly the Lucas girls call at Longbourn to talk over the ball. Mrs. Bennet reminds Charlotte, with careful politeness, that she was Mr. Bingley’s first partner; Charlotte answers that he seemed to like his second, Jane, better. Mrs. Bennet half remembers something about Mr. Robinson, and Charlotte tells it: asked which lady was prettiest, Bingley answered at once, the eldest Miss Bennet, beyond a doubt. Mrs. Bennet is delighted, then adds that it may come to nothing. Charlotte says Elizabeth’s overhearing was less pleasant: poor Eliza, to be only tolerable. Mrs. Bennet tells her not to be vexed, since Darcy is so disagreeable it would be a misfortune to be liked by him; Mrs. Long told her he sat beside her for half an hour without opening his lips. Jane says she saw him speak to Mrs. Long. Her mother answers that Mrs. Long asked him a question he could not help answering, and that he seemed angry at being spoken to. Jane adds that Miss Bingley says he talks little except among close friends, and is very agreeable with them. Mrs. Bennet does not believe it. Everybody says he is eaten up with pride, and she guesses he had heard that Mrs. Long has no carriage of her own and came in a hired one. Charlotte does not mind about Mrs. Long but wishes he had danced with Eliza. Mrs. Bennet advises Lizzy not to dance with him another time, and Elizabeth says she may safely promise never to. Charlotte says his pride offends her less than most, since a fine young man with family and fortune has a right to be proud. Elizabeth agrees, and says she could easily forgive his pride if he had not wounded hers. Mary observes that pride is a very common failing, that nearly everyone is pleased with some quality, real or imagined, and that pride and vanity differ: pride is our opinion of ourselves, vanity what we want others to think of us. A young Lucas declares that if he were as rich as Darcy he would not care how proud he was; he would keep foxhounds and drink a bottle of wine a day. Mrs. Bennet says she would take his bottle away, and they argue about it until the visit ends.
Begin with Sir William, and read the first paragraph aloud as praise, then again as teasing, listening for “perhaps” and “his own importance”. Then treat the morning call as a room of witnesses: mark each report of the ball (Bingley’s overheard answer, Darcy’s “tolerable”, Mrs. Long’s half hour), and note who heard it first-hand and who is passing it on. Slow down at Jane’s “Is not there a little mistake?” and watch how the story changes and the verdict stays. When Charlotte gives Darcy “a right to be proud”, stop on Elizabeth’s answer and read the edition’s stresses on “his” and “mine” aloud. Let Mary and the boy close the talk as two more voices, not as the answer. Keep to what the chapter gives: every view of Darcy here is an opinion, Mrs. Bennet’s carriage story is a guess, and the weighing of Elizabeth’s reason belongs to the last written question.
Retell The student retells the chapter in four movements: Sir William and the honour that made him courteous; the two overheard remarks, about Jane and about Elizabeth; the Mrs. Long story, Jane’s doubts and Mrs. Bennet’s guess; and the talk of pride itself, from Charlotte’s excuse and Elizabeth’s reply to Mary’s definitions and the boy’s bottle. Look for the order of the views on Darcy’s pride, and for who in each case heard him first-hand.
Imitate the author After copying, the student writes a five-sentence portrait in the same build, of a person changed by some small honour. Open with a career in one long sentence that saves the occasion for last. Follow with a short sentence that suggests a fault and softens it with one word, as “perhaps” does. Then write a long sentence that runs through a semicolon to a phrase that sounds like pure praise, an antithesis held by “though” and “on the contrary”, and a closing list of three good qualities.
Debate Take sides on the last written question. One side argues that Elizabeth’s reason is fair and gathers “That is very true”, “Poor Eliza! to be only just _tolerable_” and the fact that she alone admits her view is personal. The other argues that it shows pride in her too and gathers “_his_ pride” against “_mine_”, “easily forgive”, and the “safely” of her promise. Each side must answer the other’s best line. Neither may claim to know what Darcy feels, since the chapter gives only what others say of him.
Purpose Close on the shape of the chapter. Darcy never appears in it. A whole morning is spent on him, and each speaker’s account of his pride says something about the speaker: Charlotte excuses, Mrs. Bennet resents and guesses, Elizabeth admits a wound, Mary defines, and the boy envies. Before any of them speaks, the narrator shows a man whose rank made him civil. Ask why Austen opens with Sir William, and what his portrait lets a reader test that the speakers do not.
Easier Read the first paragraph and the exchange between Charlotte and Elizabeth aloud. Make a short list of everyone who says something about Darcy, and beside each name write what they say and whether they heard it themselves. Talk through the second, third and fourth discussion questions, then answer the last written question aloud before writing it.
On level Talk through all five discussion questions in order, then write the three written questions as a thesis, the strongest objection and a revised thesis, each with lines from the chapter.
Harder Ask for one argued essay that treats the morning call as a debate with many voices, from Sir William’s portrait to the boy’s bottle. What does the chapter suggest about how a judgment of someone else’s pride can rest on one’s own? The essay should meet the objection that Elizabeth, alone of the speakers, says openly that her view is personal, so the chapter may be giving her credit for honesty rather than charging her with pride.
1. When Mrs. Bennet reminds Charlotte that she was Bingley’s “first choice”, Charlotte answers that “he seemed to like his second better.” Why can she say that so lightly?Character
What it asks It asks the student to read Charlotte’s first answer in the chapter. Mrs. Bennet speaks to her “with civil self-command”, and the edition stresses her pronoun: “_You_ were Mr. Bingley’s first choice.” Charlotte answers, “Yes; but he seemed to like his second better.” Mrs. Bennet takes it up at once (“Oh, you mean Jane, I suppose, because he danced with her twice.”), and Charlotte goes on to tell Bingley’s whole answer to Mr. Robinson. The student explains why Charlotte can speak so lightly of being liked second. The card must not ask whether anyone’s pride is fair, which is the last question’s work, and must not turn her answer into a verdict on Elizabeth.
Because nothing in it touches her. Bingley liked another girl better; he said nothing against Charlotte. A woman the narrator calls “sensible” and “about twenty-seven” can pass that on as news, and she moves straight to the better story, his praise of Jane.
Yes; but he seemed to like his second better.
The eldest of them, a sensible, intelligent young woman, about twenty-seven, was Elizabeth’s intimate friend.
Because she is being tactful. Mrs. Bennet’s stressed “_You_” leaves room for a sting, and it comes “with civil self-command”. Charlotte takes the sting out by naming the second choice herself, and hands Mrs. Bennet the subject she wants. Whatever Charlotte feels stays under good manners, as Mrs. Bennet’s own feeling does.
said Mrs. Bennet, with civil self-command,
Perhaps you mean what I overheard between him and Mr. Robinson: did not I mention it to you?
A strong answer A strong response gives a reason Charlotte can speak lightly of being liked second, and works from the opening exchange. One reader says nothing in it touches her: Bingley preferred Jane and said nothing against Charlotte, so a sensible woman of “about twenty-seven” can pass it on as news. Another hears tact: Mrs. Bennet’s stressed “_You_” comes “with civil self-command”, and Charlotte takes the sting out by naming the second choice herself and handing her the subject she wants. The best answers notice how quickly Mrs. Bennet takes up Jane, and that Charlotte’s next words about her friend are “Poor Eliza!”
2. Jane defends Darcy twice: once with what she saw, and once with what Miss Bingley told her. Which defence is stronger?Inference
What it asks It asks the student to weigh the evidence in the Mrs. Long story. Mrs. Bennet reports that Darcy “sat close to her for half an hour without once opening his lips.” Jane asks, “Are you quite sure, ma’am? Is not there a little mistake?” and adds, “I certainly saw Mr. Darcy speaking to her.” Her mother answers that Mrs. Long asked him how he liked Netherfield “and he could not help answering her; but she said he seemed very angry at being spoke to.” Jane tries again: Miss Bingley has told her “that he never speaks much unless among his intimate acquaintance. With _them_ he is remarkably agreeable.” Her mother: “I do not believe a word of it, my dear.” The student decides which of Jane’s two defences carries more weight. The card must not say that any account of Darcy’s silence is true, and must not settle whether his pride is justified, since the chapter gives only opinions about it.
What she saw. It is the only first-hand evidence in the Mrs. Long story: “I certainly saw”. It forces the story to change. The half hour of silence becomes one answer he “could not help” giving, and the charge moves from what he did to how he “seemed”. Jane’s eyes do not win the argument, but they make Mrs. Long’s report retreat.
I certainly saw Mr. Darcy speaking to her.
but she said he seemed very angry at being spoke to.
What Miss Bingley told her. Seeing him answer once proves little against half an hour of silence. Miss Bingley’s account does not deny the silence; it explains it. He is quiet among strangers and “remarkably agreeable” among friends. It is second-hand, and it comes from his friend’s sister, but it is the only account so far that offers a cause instead of a verdict.
that he never speaks much unless among his intimate acquaintance.
With them he is remarkably agreeable.
A strong answer A strong response chooses one of Jane’s defences and argues from the exchange. One reader picks what she saw: “I certainly saw Mr. Darcy speaking to her” is the only first-hand evidence in the Mrs. Long story, and it makes the story retreat from silence to how he “seemed”. Another picks Miss Bingley’s report: one answer proves little against half an hour, and only her account, so far, offers a cause, that he is “remarkably agreeable” among his “intimate acquaintance”. The best answers notice that the case against him is built of reports too, and that neither defence moves Mrs. Bennet.
3. Mrs. Bennet guesses why Darcy said so little to Mrs. Long: he had heard she “does not keep a carriage”. Why does she reach for that reason and not another?Character
What it asks It asks the student to look at the guess and at the guesser. Having dismissed Jane’s defences, Mrs. Bennet says: “But I can guess how it was; everybody says that he is eat up with pride, and I dare say he had heard somehow that Mrs. Long does not keep a carriage, and had to come to the ball in a hack chaise.” She offers it with “I dare say” and “somehow”. The student explains why this cause, and not another, is the one she reaches for. The card must not say that her explanation is true, since it is a guess, and must not settle whether Darcy’s pride is justified.
Because it is her own measure. Nothing in the chapter shows Darcy knowing how Mrs. Long travels. It is Mrs. Bennet who knows she came “in a hack chaise”, and Mrs. Bennet who thinks it worth mentioning. The guess shows what the guesser notices about a neighbour. Her judgment of his pride rests on her own sense of rank.
and had to come to the ball in a hack chaise.
I dare say he had heard somehow
Because the verdict came first. In her words “everybody says that he is eat up with pride”, so the silence must have a proud cause. She has just had Jane’s two defences to get past, and she needs a reason that keeps the verdict whole. To her, a carriage is a plain sign of standing a neighbour could lack, so it is what a proud man would be expected to look down on.
everybody says that he is eat up with pride,
If he had been so very agreeable, he would have talked to Mrs. Long.
A strong answer A strong response gives a reason for this particular guess and stays clear of saying it is true. One reader says it is Mrs. Bennet’s own measure: she, not Darcy, is the one who knows Mrs. Long came “in a hack chaise”, so the guess shows what the guesser notices in a neighbour. Another says the verdict came first: “everybody says that he is eat up with pride”, so she needs a cause that fits it, and a missing carriage is what a proud man would be expected to despise. The best answers hear “I dare say” and “somehow” as the marks of a guess.
4. Elizabeth tells her mother she may “safely” promise never to dance with Darcy. What makes the promise safe?Tone
What it asks It asks the student to weigh one word in Elizabeth’s first speech of the chapter. Charlotte has said, “Poor Eliza! to be only just _tolerable_.” Mrs. Bennet has spoken of “his ill-treatment”. Charlotte says, “I wish he had danced with Eliza.” Her mother advises, “Another time, Lizzy,” and then, “I would not dance with _him_, if I were you.” Elizabeth answers, “I believe, ma’am, I may safely promise you _never_ to dance with him.” The student decides what makes the promise safe. The card must not say whether the promise will hold, must say nothing of Darcy’s later feelings, and must not ask whether her grudge is fair, which is the last question’s work.
She expects he will never ask. Darcy has judged her “only just _tolerable_”, and Charlotte can only wish “he had danced with Eliza.” A promise to refuse what will not be offered costs nothing. The word “safely” is a dry joke at her own expense, and it answers her mother’s “Another time” by saying she expects no other time.
Poor Eliza! to be only just tolerable.
but I wish he had danced with Eliza.
Her mind is made up. The edition stresses “_never_”, and it answers her mother’s stressed “_him_”. The word “safely” belongs to someone sure of her own mind. Her mother tells her to refuse “if I were you”; Elizabeth needs no telling, so the promise is safe because her answer is already fixed.
I believe, ma’am, I may safely promise you never to dance with him.
“Another time, Lizzy,” said her mother, “I would not dance with him, if I were you.”
A strong answer A strong response says what makes the promise safe and argues from the talk just before it. One reader hears that she expects he will never ask: Darcy has judged her “only just _tolerable_”, so a promise to refuse costs nothing, and “safely” is a dry joke at her own expense. Another hears a mind already made up: the stress on “_never_” answers her mother’s “_him_”, and a woman sure of her own answer needs no “if I were you”. The best answers notice that these are her first words in the chapter and make no claim about whether the promise will hold.
5. A young Lucas says that if he were as rich as Darcy, “I should not care how proud I was.” He would also drink “a bottle of wine every day.” Mrs. Bennet scolds him about the wine. Why does she leave the pride alone?Character
What it asks It asks the student to read the chapter’s last exchange for what Mrs. Bennet takes up and what she lets pass. Straight after Mary’s speech, a young Lucas cries that if he were as rich as Mr. Darcy, “I should not care how proud I was. I would keep a pack of foxhounds, and drink a bottle of wine every day.” Mrs. Bennet answers, “Then you would drink a great deal more than you ought”, and threatens to “take away your bottle directly.” The narrator closes: “The boy protested that she should not; she continued to declare that she would; and the argument ended only with the visit.” Earlier that morning the same woman told the room that “everybody says that he is eat up with pride”. The student explains why she answers the wine and leaves the pride alone. The card must not treat Mary’s definitions as the book’s final word on pride, must not settle whether Darcy’s pride is justified, and must not ask whether Elizabeth’s grudge is fair, which is the last question’s work.
Because what she minds in Darcy was never pride itself. Her case against him is made of slights: Mrs. Long left in silence for half an hour, and Lizzy’s “ill-treatment”. The boy’s pride slights no one in the room; it is a dream of hounds and wine. It gives her nothing to resent, so she lets it pass. Her quarrel with Darcy’s pride rests on whom it touched.
to be vexed by his ill-treatment,
he sat close to her for half an hour without once opening his lips.
Because he is a boy, and she answers him as one. A boy boasting about being rich is not offering an opinion to argue with. What a grown-up can do is correct his habits, and the bottle is a thing she can take away “directly”. The narrator ends on the squabble, and it settles nothing: the argument “ended only with the visit”. Her silence on pride belongs to the comedy of the scene, not to a view of pride.
I should take away your bottle directly.
and the argument ended only with the visit.
A strong answer A strong response explains why Mrs. Bennet takes up the wine and lets the pride pass, and argues from the last exchange and her earlier complaints. One reader says that what she minds in Darcy was never pride itself but the slights she counts against him, Mrs. Long’s silent half hour and Lizzy’s “ill-treatment”; the boy’s daydream slights no one, so she has nothing to resent. Another says she answers a boy as a boy: the bottle is what a grown-up can take away “directly”, and the comic squabble, which “ended only with the visit”, settles nothing about pride. The best answers notice that the boy says plainly what Charlotte said politely, and that no one in the room answers Mary either.
1. Charlotte says a man with “family, fortune, everything in his favour” has a right to be proud, yet the honour her own father won made him courteous. Does his example prove her wrong?
What it asks It asks the student to set the chapter’s opening against Charlotte’s excuse. Sir William, knighted “by an address to the king”, gives up trade to “occupy himself solely in being civil to all the world”: “though elated by his rank, it did not render him supercilious; on the contrary, he was all attention to everybody.” The narrator adds that the distinction “had, perhaps, been felt too strongly”, and that at Lucas Lodge “he could think with pleasure of his own importance”. Later his daughter says of Darcy: “One cannot wonder that so very fine a young man, with family, fortune, everything in his favour, should think highly of himself. If I may so express it, he has a _right_ to be proud.” The student builds a thesis on whether Sir William’s example proves Charlotte wrong, meets the strongest objection, and revises. The card must not settle whether Darcy’s pride is justified, since the chapter gives only opinions about it, and must not read the portrait of Sir William as plain praise.
It proves her wrong. Here is a man raised by an honour who became “all attention to everybody.” If rank can make a man courteous, then rank does not make pride, and so it cannot excuse it. Charlotte’s “One cannot wonder” treats pride as what advantages naturally produce, and the chapter has opened on a man they did not produce it in.
though elated by his rank, it did not render him supercilious;
One cannot wonder that so very fine a young man, with family, fortune, everything in his favour, should think highly of himself.
It does not. Sir William is not free of pride; his is cheerful. The distinction was “perhaps” felt “too strongly”: it gave him “a disgust to his business” and a new house where he could think of “his own importance”. His civility is the form his pride takes. And his rank is new, won by a speech, while Darcy has “family”, the kind of standing Charlotte says excuses a high opinion of oneself.
The distinction had, perhaps, been felt too strongly.
where he could think with pleasure of his own importance,
A strong answer A strong thesis says whether Sir William’s example proves Charlotte wrong and argues from the opening paragraph and her speech. A student might argue that it does: his rank “did not render him supercilious”, so advantages need not produce pride, and Charlotte’s “One cannot wonder” loses its ground. The strongest objection is that the narrator smiles at him (the distinction was “perhaps” felt “too strongly”, and he thinks “with pleasure of his own importance”), so his courtesy may be pride in a friendly form, and his new rank differs from Darcy’s “family”. A good revision might hold that the example tells against Charlotte’s “right” but not her “One cannot wonder”: rank tempts every man to think well of himself, and what differs is how the feeling is shown to others.
2. Mary says pride has to do with “our opinion of ourselves” and vanity with “what we would have others think of us.” By her own test, is her speech proud or vain?
What it asks It asks the student to test Mary’s distinction on its speaker. The narrator introduces her as one “who piqued herself upon the solidity of her reflections”. She says: “By all that I have ever read, I am convinced that it is very common indeed; that human nature is particularly prone to it, and that there are very few of us who do not cherish a feeling of self-complacency on the score of some quality or other, real or imaginary. Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity to what we would have others think of us.” No one answers her; the young Lucas speaks next. The student builds a thesis on whether, by her own terms, the speech is proud or vain, meets the strongest objection, and revises. The card must not treat her definitions as the book’s final word: she speaks from her reading, and the narrator smiles at her.
Proud. The narrator’s introduction is about her opinion of herself: she “piqued herself upon the solidity of her reflections”. She speaks from her books and asks for no agreement. Whether anyone is persuaded does not matter to her; she is satisfied with her reflections. On her own terms, that is pride.
“Pride,” observed Mary, who piqued herself upon the solidity of her reflections,
By all that I have ever read,
Vain. A speech of definitions, made to a room of visitors in the middle of gossip, is made to be heard. It is full of “I believe” and “I am convinced”, and it shows off her reading. She wants the company to think her solid. That is “what we would have others think of us”, and her own phrase “real or imaginary” leaves open whether the solidity is there.
to what we would have others think of us.
on the score of some quality or other, real or imaginary.
A strong answer A strong thesis says whether Mary’s speech is proud or vain on her own terms and argues from the narrator’s introduction and her words. A student might argue it is proud: the narrator says she “piqued herself upon the solidity of her reflections”, an opinion of herself, and she speaks from her reading without asking anyone to agree. The strongest objection is that a speech of definitions made to visitors is made to be heard, so it shows “what we would have others think of us”. A good revision might hold that her line does not divide her cleanly: pride in her reflections becomes vanity the moment she voices them to a room, so the distinction is real but harder to keep apart than her speech makes it sound.
3. Elizabeth says she could forgive Darcy's pride if he had not hurt her own. Is that a fair reason to hold it against him, or does it show some pride in her too?
What it asks It asks the guide’s last question. Charlotte says Darcy’s pride “does not offend _me_ so much as pride often does, because there is an excuse for it”, and gives the excuse: “family, fortune, everything in his favour”, so that “he has a _right_ to be proud.” Elizabeth answers, “That is very true,” and goes on, “and I could easily forgive _his_ pride, if he had not mortified _mine_.” Earlier the room has heard Charlotte’s “Poor Eliza! to be only just _tolerable_”, and Elizabeth has promised “_never_ to dance with him.” The student builds a thesis on whether Elizabeth’s reason is a fair one for holding Darcy’s pride against him, or shows some pride in her too, meets the strongest objection, and revises. The card must not settle whether Darcy’s pride is justified, must not say whether her promise will hold, must say nothing of Darcy’s later feelings, and must not take Mary’s definitions as the answer.
A fair reason. Elizabeth grants Charlotte’s whole case, “That is very true”, and then names the one thing the excuse does not cover. Being proud is one thing; judging a girl, in Charlotte’s phrase, “only just _tolerable_” where it could be overheard and repeated is another. Her complaint is not that he thinks highly of himself but that he made her smaller. She says so plainly, which is more honest than anyone else’s account of him that morning.
“That is very true,” replied Elizabeth,
Poor Eliza! to be only just tolerable.
It shows pride in her too. The edition’s stress sets “_his_ pride” beside “_mine_”: two prides, and hers is the one that was hurt. She would forgive the same fault “easily” if it had not touched her, so the fault itself is not what she holds against him. What stands between them is her own opinion of herself, which Mary would call pride, and the “safely” of her promise has the same edge.
and I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine.
I believe, ma’am, I may safely promise you never to dance with him.
A strong answer A strong thesis says whether Elizabeth’s reason is fair or shows her own pride, and argues from her answer to Charlotte and the talk before it. A student might argue it is fair: she grants that Darcy may have “a _right_ to be proud” and objects only to being judged, in Charlotte’s phrase, “only just _tolerable_”, an injury and not a temperament, and she says so more honestly than anyone else that morning. The strongest objection is that the edition’s stress sets “_his_ pride” against “_mine_”, and that she could forgive the same fault “easily” if it had not touched her, so what she holds against him is her own hurt opinion of herself. A good revision might hold that both are true: the reason is honest because it admits its own pride, and a reader must then decide whether an honest grudge is a fairer one.
For, though elated by his rank, it did not render him supercilious; on the contrary, he was all attention to everybody.Looking down on other people with a cool, superior air (from a Latin word for the eyebrow, as if raised at someone). The narrator says Sir William’s rank “did not render him supercilious”: the new knight looks up and around, not down. The word names the exact fault the rest of the chapter charges Darcy with, so the first paragraph shows the fault avoided before the neighbours accuse anyone of it.
By nature inoffensive, friendly, and obliging, his presentation at St. James’s had made him courteous.Eager to do favours and to please (from oblige, to bind someone by a kindness). Sir William is “inoffensive, friendly, and obliging” by nature, and the court only polishes it into courtesy. An obliging man wants to be liked, which sets him against the man “everybody says” is “eat up with pride”.
It had given him a disgust to his business and to his residence in a small market town; and, quitting them both, he had removed with his family to a house about a mile from Meryton, denominated from that period Lucas Lodge; where he could think with pleasure of his own importance, and, unshackled by business, occupy himself solely in being civil to all the world.Given a name, usually a formal one (from a Latin word for name, as in nominate and denomination). The new house is “denominated from that period Lucas Lodge”: Sir William names it after his family the moment he has a title. The stiff, official word carries the narrator’s smile. A plain word would only report the name; this one makes the naming a ceremony.
“You began the evening well, Charlotte,” said Mrs. Bennet, with civil self-command, to Miss Lucas.Control over one’s own feelings and words when they want to come out (self plus command, to give orders). Mrs. Bennet speaks to Charlotte “with civil self-command”. The phrase tells the reader there is a feeling under the politeness that has to be held in, without saying what it is.
By all that I have ever read, I am convinced that it is very common indeed; that human nature is particularly prone to it, and that there are very few of us who do not cherish a feeling of self-complacency on the score of some quality or other, real or imaginary.Quiet pleasure in oneself, often more than is earned (complacent comes from a Latin word for pleasing). Mary says that very few of us “do not cherish a feeling of self-complacency on the score of some quality or other, real or imaginary.” The word is gentler than pride and more private than vanity: a satisfaction held and enjoyed. Her “real or imaginary” admits that the quality we are pleased with may not be there at all.