Chapter 43 — Teaching Companion

What it asks It asks the student to take a passing joke of Lee’s and test it on the whole chapter. In the first section Adam worries that Cal is away so much, and Lee answers, “Cal’s trying to find himself,” and goes on: “I guess this personal hide-and-seek is not unusual. And some people are ‘it’ all their lives—hopelessly ‘it’.” Lee does not say whom he means. Just before, Adam had said that he thought he knew his own sons and found he did not, and he learns of Aron’s exams “by accident,” from Mr. Kilkenny. Lee guesses that Cal has “some kind of a secret too.” By the third section Adam learns that Aron has passed from Cal, and Cal walks out into the dark. The question touches the hinge: someone in this house is always hiding something from someone else, and the student must decide who is left doing the looking.

One reading

Adam. Both his sons hide from him, and he is the last to know. He finds out about the exams from a teacher, and about the pass from Cal. He says himself that he does not know his own sons. Even when he hears it, he covers it over, so he never quite catches anyone.

• You think you know your own children and then you find you don’t at all.
• I only found out by accident

Another reading

Cal. Lee says it right after “Cal’s trying to find himself,” so the joke is about him: he is looking for himself and cannot find him. In this chapter Cal is also the one who knows Aron’s secret and the one who walks off alone into the dark. The seeker here is a boy, not his father.

• Cal’s trying to find himself
• He walked very fast in the gathering darkness

Listen for

• Knows the game: “it” is the seeker, the one left out while the others hide.
• Notices that Lee says the line just after “Cal’s trying to find himself,” and does not say whom he means by “some people.”
• Counts who hides what from whom: Aron the exams, Cal his own “secret,” Adam the fact that he was not told.
• Leaves Cal’s secret unnamed; the chapter only guesses at it.

If stuck

• How does Adam find out that Aron is studying for the exams?
• Who in the chapter is looking for someone, or for something?
• Who seems to be left out of the game, even at the end?

A strong answer A strong response names who is “it” and grounds the choice in the first and third sections. One reader says Adam: both sons hide from him, he learns everything by accident or from someone else, and he admits he does not know his sons. Another says Cal, because Lee says the line just after “Cal’s trying to find himself,” and Cal ends the evening alone in the dark. The best answers count who hides what, notice that Lee never says whom he means, and leave Cal’s secret unnamed.

What it asks It asks the student to weigh a good man’s motives by how he talks, not by what he says about himself. Aron has just said, “Sometimes I feel dirty. I want to get away from the dirt and be clean,” and Mr. Rolf has answered that a priest must “even lower ourselves into filth to raise sinners from the slime.” Then “His eyes began to glow and his voice took on the throatiness he used in sermons.” Only after that does he say, “I hope you won’t find any pride in me in telling it. But there is a kind of glory in it.” He tells of a woman who sits “always in the last row on the left-hand side,” calls her “the owner of a house of ill fame,” and says again, “Without pride I say I would be glad to raise her up.” He pictures the tap on his door and calls that moment “the highest and most beautiful experience a priest can have.” At the end he “controlled his breathing with difficulty” and says, “I pray God I may not fail.” The chapter does not say who she is or why she comes, and the talk should not. The question touches the hinge: Mr. Rolf thinks of Aron as “his product, his spiritual son,” so here Aron sits with a second man who takes pride in him. He hears how a grown man’s pride sounds when it is fixed on a soul to be raised, and the chapter sets that pride beside Adam’s, waiting in the drawer with the watch.

One reading

Mostly for himself. He denies pride twice, and a man who must say “without pride” twice has felt it. The glow and the sermon voice come before the story does. The great moment he pictures is his own, “the highest and most beautiful experience a priest can have,” and he can hardly breathe at the thought of it. He knows the woman only from the back row and his own inquiries: she always leaves before he can reach her.

• Without pride I say I would be glad to raise her up.
• it is the highest and most beautiful experience a priest can have

Another reading

For her, in earnest. He believes a priest must go down into the filth to lift people out, and he means it: that is why he will not let Aron withdraw. His excitement is the excitement of a man who has found his work. And his last words are a fear of failing her, not a boast.

• even lower ourselves into filth to raise sinners from the slime
• I pray God I may not fail

Listen for

• Notices the order: the glowing eyes and the sermon voice come before Mr. Rolf says he hopes Aron won’t find “any pride in me,” and that he denies pride a second time.
• Notices whose great moment the tap on the door is, and sets it against “I pray God I may not fail.”
• Keeps Aron in view: the “revulsion” Mr. Rolf sees in his face, and “What does she want here?”
• Does not name the woman or tie her to Aron; the chapter gives only her trade and Mr. Rolf’s guess.

If stuck

• What happens to Mr. Rolf’s eyes and voice when he starts the story?
• How many times does he say he is not proud?
• When he pictures the tap on his door, whose great moment is it?

A strong answer A strong response weighs how much of the glory is hers and how much his, and grounds it in the rectory scene. One reader says it is mostly his: he denies pride twice, his eyes glow before the story begins, and the moment he pictures is “the highest and most beautiful experience a priest can have.” Another says it is for her in earnest: he believes a priest must go down into the “filth,” and he ends in fear of failing her. The best answers hear the order of glow and denial, keep Aron’s face and question in view, and say nothing about who the woman is.

What it asks It asks the student to catch a second pretence inside Adam’s lie, one only a reader who remembers the drawer will notice. In the first section Adam says, “When he tells us we ought to have a present for him,” and Lee answers, “A gold watch.” Lee adds, “We shouldn’t mention it until he does,” and Adam agrees. In the third section “The massive gold watch lay under his handkerchiefs in the top drawer of his bureau,” and Adam “kept it wound and set and checked its accuracy against his own watch.” Then Aron goes out to dinner at the rectory, and Cal says, “Didn’t he tell you? He passed them.” Adam answers, “Oh, yes—the exams,” and then, “Yes, he told me. A fine job. I’m proud of him. I think I’ll get him a gold watch.” When Cal says, “He didn’t tell you!”, Adam adds, “He told me this morning,” and Cal answers, “He didn’t know this morning,” and walks out. The question touches the hinge: the watch was bought for the day Aron tells his father, and here the father covers for the son’s silence twice over.

One reading

He is covering his own hurt. To say the watch is ready would be to say how long he has waited for this news, and that his son gave it to his brother instead. So he makes the pass sound small and the watch sound like a new idea. The stumble in “Oh, yes—the exams” shows how fast he has to think.

• The massive gold watch lay under his handkerchiefs in the top drawer of his bureau
• Oh, yes—the exams

Another reading

He is keeping the plan. The watch was for the day Aron tells him, and he and Lee agreed to say nothing until then. Aron has not told him, so that day has not come. Adam keeps Aron’s surprise even in front of Cal, and he is still waiting for his son to tell him.

• When he tells us we ought to have a present for him.
• We shouldn’t mention it until he does.

Listen for

• Notices that the watch line is untrue: the watch is already in the drawer, wound, set and checked.
• Sets it beside the plan in the first section: a present “When he tells us,” and nothing said “until he does.”
• Hears the stumbles, “Oh, yes—the exams” and “Oh, yes—yes, he did,” and what Cal’s “He didn’t know this morning” does to the cover.
• Gives Cal no reason for his anger that the chapter does not give, and does not say what the present on the pillow is.

If stuck

• Where is the gold watch while Adam is talking to Cal?
• What did Adam and Lee agree to do until Aron told them?
• What would Adam have to admit if he said the watch was already bought?

A strong answer A strong response explains why Adam pretends the watch is still to be bought and grounds it in both the first and third sections. One reader says he is covering his own hurt: a ready watch would show how long he has waited for news that went to Cal first. Another says he is keeping the plan he made with Lee: the watch is for the day Aron tells him, and that day has not come. The best answers notice that the watch line is a second pretence beside “He told me this morning,” hear Adam’s stumbles, and give Cal no motive the chapter does not name.

What it asks It asks the student to explain a fight that never happens. Lee has just told Cal not to fight Aron: “He’d slaughter you.” Now Lee waits for Aron on the same lowest step and orders him to wake his father. Aron refuses. Lee asks if he ever had to fight “a little man, a man half your size,” and says, “It’s one of the most embarrassing things in the world. He won’t stop and pretty soon you have to hit him and that’s worse.” Then he says he will fight Aron himself. “Aron tried to pass. Lee stood up in front of him, his tiny fists doubled ineffectually, his stance and position so silly that he began to laugh.” “I don’t know how to do it, but I’m going to try,” Lee says. “Aron nervously backed away from him,” and when he sits, Lee says, “Thank heaven that’s over,” with a deep sigh. Moments later Aron breaks down. The question touches the hinge: this is the turn that gets Aron to say what is the matter, or as much of it as he knows.

One reading

He cannot hit a small man who loves him. Lee has told him exactly what would happen: the little man will not stop, and hitting him is worse. Aron, who wants above all to be clean, cannot be the big boy who knocks down the man he “always used to tell.” Lee wins by making himself a fight that Aron could only lose by winning.

• It’s one of the most embarrassing things in the world. He won’t stop and pretty soon you have to hit him and that’s worse.
• I want to get away from the dirt and be clean.

Another reading

The laugh. Lee looks so silly that he laughs at himself, and anger cannot stand up against that. Aron backs away “nervously” because he is close to breaking, not because he is afraid of Lee. Once he is sitting, Lee reminds him, “You always used to tell me,” and the boy who would not talk cannot hold out.

• his stance and position so silly that he began to laugh
• Look, Aron, can’t you tell me what’s the matter with you? You always used to tell me.

Listen for

• Sets Lee’s two fights side by side: he talks Cal out of one he says Cal would lose, then picks one he is sure to lose himself.
• Uses Lee’s own account of fighting a little man as a key to what Aron is facing.
• Weighs “nervously” and “ineffectually,” and notices that the fists do nothing and the stand still works.
• Notices that Aron breaks down only after he sits, and only after “You always used to tell me.”

If stuck

• What does Lee tell Cal about fighting Aron, earlier that night?
• What does Lee say happens when you fight a man half your size?
• What changes between Aron trying to pass and Aron saying, “I want to go away”?

A strong answer A strong response says what stops Aron and grounds it in the porch scene. One reader says it is shame: Lee has described the fight in advance, and a boy who wants to be clean cannot knock down a small man who loves him. Another says it is the laugh: a man so silly that he laughs at himself leaves no anger to fight with, and Aron, already close to breaking, gives way. The best answers set Lee’s two fights of the evening side by side and notice that Aron breaks down only after Lee reminds him that he used to tell him things.

What it asks It asks the student to weigh the order of Lee’s speech, and so the chapter’s last line. Lee comforts Aron, tells him to get up early and tell his father, “Make it exciting,” “Go through the motions,” and sends him to bed. He adds, “I’ve got to bake a cake—for breakfast.” The cake was first meant for “the evening of the day of the announcement”; now it is for breakfast. Then: “And, Aron—your father left a present on your pillow.” The chapter ends there. Adam left the present though Aron never told him the news; the chapter calls it only “a present,” and many readers will take it for the watch. It does not say what Aron does when he sees it, or whether he tells his father in the morning, and the talk should not. The question touches the hinge: the last thing Aron meets that night is his father’s pride, waiting for him in his bed.

One reading

It is Lee’s last push. Aron cannot go to sleep without finding it. A gift from the father he would not tell makes it very hard to stay silent in the morning. Lee has argued, threatened a fight, and comforted; now he lets the present make the case for him.

• And, Aron—your father left a present on your pillow.
• Go to bed now, and in the morning get up early and tell your father about the tests.

Another reading

It is a kindness. Aron has just cried that he does not know what is the matter with him. The present says his father is not angry and is still proud, even without being told. Lee saves it so that the last thing Aron hears is not an order but his father’s love, and so that the morning will be easier.

• He’s lonelier than you are because he has no lovely future to dream about.
• I don’t know what’s the matter with me.

Listen for

• Notices that Adam left the present without being told, and asks what that says about him.
• Hears the dash before “your father,” and what the pause does.
• Notices that the cake has moved from the evening to breakfast, and what Lee is planning by saying so.
• Claims nothing about what Aron does next, and calls the gift a present, as the chapter does.

If stuck

• What has Lee asked Aron to do in the morning?
• Who left the present, and did he know the news when he left it?
• How might Aron feel finding it after this night?

A strong answer A strong response explains why Lee ends on the present and grounds it in the end of the porch speech. One reader says it is a last push: a gift Aron cannot avoid makes silence in the morning nearly impossible. Another says it is a kindness: it tells a crying boy that his father is still proud, so the last thing he hears is love and not an order. The best answers notice that Adam left the gift without being told, hear the pause before “your father,” and say nothing about what Aron does next.

What it asks It asks the student to answer a question Lee asks and Adam cannot. When Adam reports that Aron will “save a year,” Lee asks, “Why is he doing it?” and “What does he want to save it for?” Adam says, “Goddam it, Lee, he’s ambitious. Can’t you understand that?” Lee says, “No,” and then, “I never could.” Aron never speaks of the exams with Adam. He speaks of his future twice. In the rectory he says, “When I have a church I’ll do it too,” and wishes for “Someplace to withdraw,” because “Sometimes I feel dirty.” On the porch he says, “I want to go away. It’s a dirty town,” and “I don’t belong here.” The chapter does not say what Aron will do at college or after it, and the answer should not guess. The question touches the hinge: what the pass means to Aron is part of why he will not share it.

One reading

It is for getting away. Every time Aron speaks of the future he speaks of leaving: withdrawing, getting away from the dirt, going away from a dirty town. A year saved is a year sooner gone. Adam’s word “ambitious” points forward to success, but Aron’s own words point away from Salinas.

• I want to go away. It’s a dirty town.
• Someplace to withdraw. Sometimes I feel dirty. I want to get away from the dirt and be clean.

Another reading

Adam is not wholly wrong. Aron does have a goal: he talks of the church he will have one day and what he will do in it. The year brings the ministry closer. Escape and ambition are the same road for him, since the clean place he wants is a church of his own.

• When I have a church I’ll do it too.
• He’s covered all next year’s work. He’s going to take examinations for college and save a year.

Listen for

• States a thesis about what the year is for and grounds it in Aron’s own words, in the rectory and on the porch.
• Weighs Lee’s two short questions, and his “I never could,” as the chapter’s way of doubting Adam’s answer.
• Meets the strongest objection and revises: Aron talks of a church of his own, so the year may be for a goal and a flight at once.
• Claims nothing about what Aron does at college or whether he becomes a minister.

If stuck

• What two questions does Lee ask when Adam tells him the news?
• What does Aron say about the future in the rectory? On the porch?
• Which of those is closer to Adam’s word “ambitious,” and which is further from it?

A strong answer A strong response builds a thesis on what the saved year is for, meets the strongest objection, and revises. One thesis says it is for getting away: every time Aron speaks of the future he speaks of leaving the dirt and the town, and a year saved is a year sooner gone. The strongest objection is “When I have a church I’ll do it too”: Aron does have a goal, so Adam’s “ambitious” is not simply wrong. A good revision might say the church Aron wants is itself a place to withdraw to, so ambition and escape run together, and Lee’s question is the one that hears the difference. The best answers stay with Aron’s words and claim nothing about his future.

What it asks It asks the student to judge what Lee asks of Aron, and why, in the moment he asks it. Aron has just broken down: “I want to go away. It’s a dirty town,” and “I don’t know what’s the matter with me,” his voice rising “to a wail.” Lee comforts him, admits, “That’s not much relief to you because you don’t believe it, but it’s the best I can do for you,” and then speaks of Adam: “Go to bed now, and in the morning get up early and tell your father about the tests. Make it exciting. He’s lonelier than you are because he has no lovely future to dream about. Go through the motions. Sam Hamilton said that. Pretend it’s true and maybe it will be.” Lee does not say what “it” is. Earlier that night Adam has already pretended, telling Cal, “He told me this morning.” The chapter gives no verdict on Lee’s advice and does not say whether Aron follows it, and the answer should not. The question touches the hinge: Lee is asking the boy to bridge the gap between his private flight and his father’s public pride.

One reading

It is fair. Lee does not ask Aron to say anything false: he did pass. He asks him to give true news warmly to a man who has been living for it and has nothing else to look forward to. Aron has a “lovely future”; Adam does not. And Lee does not leave the boy alone with it: he comforts him first and hopes the feeling will follow the act.

• He’s lonelier than you are because he has no lovely future to dream about.
• Pretend it’s true and maybe it will be.

Another reading

It is not fair, or not yet. The boy has just said he does not know what is the matter with him, and he is told to put his own trouble aside and act excited for someone else. Lee seems to know it: he calls his comfort “the best I can do,” not the right thing. And a boy who wants above all to be clean is asked to perform a feeling he does not have.

• I don’t know what’s the matter with me.
• That’s not much relief to you because you don’t believe it, but it’s the best I can do for you.

Listen for

• States a thesis on whether the request is fair and tests it against both Adam’s loneliness and Aron’s state on the step.
• Asks what the “it” in “Pretend it’s true” is: that Aron is glad, that he belongs, that the town is not dirty.
• Hears Lee’s own hedge, “the best I can do for you,” and does not turn the advice into plain wisdom or plain hypocrisy.
• Meets the strongest objection and revises, and claims nothing about what Aron does in the morning.

If stuck

• What exactly does Lee ask Aron to do in the morning?
• What reason does Lee give for asking it?
• What has Aron just said about himself, a moment before?

A strong answer A strong response builds a thesis on whether Lee’s request is fair, meets the strongest objection, and revises. One thesis says it is fair: the news is true, Adam is lonely and has been living for it, and Lee comforts the boy before he asks. The strongest objection is that Aron has just said “I don’t know what’s the matter with me,” and is asked to set that aside and act excited, which Lee himself calls only “the best I can do.” A good revision might say the request is fair to Adam and costly to Aron, and that Lee knows it, which is why he offers it as second best and hopes the act will make the feeling true. The best answers ask what “it” is in “Pretend it’s true,” hold Lee’s hedge in view, and give no verdict the chapter does not give.

What it asks It asks the chapter’s whole question. Adam has been waiting with the watch “wound and set”. Aron comes home asking, “Where’s father?”, then speaks only to “the soap-faced image in the mirror” about dinner at the rectory. Cal knows Aron has passed; Adam does not. On the porch Lee says, “Aron, your father has been living for this,” and Aron answers, “He wouldn’t understand,” then asks, “How did he know about it?” and calls it “none of your business.” When he breaks down he says, “I want to go away. It’s a dirty town,” and “I don’t know what’s the matter with me.” Lee’s answer is that the world tests us most sharply when we are growing up: “We think everybody is seeing into us. Then dirt is very dirty and purity is shining white.” In the rectory Aron had said, “Sometimes I feel dirty.” The chapter does not say whether Aron tells Adam in the morning, and nothing here shows that he knows anything about his mother; the answer should claim neither.

One reading

Because the pass is not the thing Adam thinks it is. To Adam it is ambition and a reason for a party. To Aron it is a way out of a town he calls dirty. To share it would be to have it turned into a celebration of staying, of being Adam’s proud son in Salinas, when he wants to leave. “He wouldn’t understand” is his whole reason, and the rectory and the porch show what Adam would not understand.

• He wouldn’t understand.
• I want to go away. It’s a dirty town.

Another reading

Because he cannot bear to be seen. Aron does not fully know his own reason: “I don’t know what’s the matter with me.” His first question is how Adam found out, as if being known were the injury. Lee names it: at his age “We think everybody is seeing into us.” A boy who feels dirty does not want the one person proudest of him looking too closely, even in praise.

• How did he know about it?
• We think everybody is seeing into us.

Listen for

• States a thesis on why Aron hides the news and builds it from the rectory and the porch, not only from the porch.
• Follows the words dirty and clean from Aron’s talk with Mr. Rolf to “It’s a dirty town.”
• Weighs “He wouldn’t understand” against “I don’t know what’s the matter with me”: a reason Aron gives and a reason he cannot give.
• Meets the strongest objection and revises; does not call Aron simply ungrateful or cold, and claims nothing about the morning or his mother.

If stuck

• Whom did Aron tell about passing, and whom did he not tell?
• What does Aron say when Lee asks him why?
• What did Aron say about dirt and cleanness in the rectory, and what does he say about the town on the porch?

A strong answer A strong response builds a thesis on why Aron hides his success, meets the strongest objection, and revises. One thesis says the pass means something different to him than to Adam: Adam sees ambition and a party, Aron a way out of a “dirty town,” so sharing it would make it into something he does not want. The strongest objection is Aron’s own wail, “I don’t know what’s the matter with me”: his reasons may be hidden from himself, and his first question, “How did he know about it?”, sounds like fear of being seen, which Lee names on the step. A good revision might say Aron hides the news because sharing it would let his father look into a boy who feels dirty, and the flight from Salinas and the fear of being seen are one wish. The best answers use the rectory as well as the porch, keep Aron from being merely cold, and claim nothing about the morning.